Potty Talk

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"Maxx, what are you doing in there?"

"What does it look like to you?" (shouted through the open bathroom door)

"I don't know, Maxx, I don't like to watch people when they are in the bathroom."

silence. . . .  more silence.

"Maxx, I'm thinking you had better wipe your butt."

"How do you know I need to wipe my butt?"  (closes door, begins making sounds of frustration and annoyance)

Boy continues to make strange and incoherent noises for 5 minutes, refusing to answer questions seeking to diagnose the problem from behind the door.  Mom enters, discovers that a bum definitely needs to be wiped, that no attempts to self-wipe have been made and that at this point she must resort to using wet TP to clean the problem area.

This is not unusual.  Maxx was very slow to potty train.  He still does not stay dry at night and often needs to be reminded to pee during the day.  Research shows that FAS kids, especially boys, have problems with toileting issues well into late adolescence because the neural pathway that the bladder and bowel use to tell the frontal cortex that a potty stop is urgent is fried before birth.  We see that all the time - the boy will dance around holding his parts but insist that he DOES NOT need to pee until you physically place him in front of the toilet.  Lo and behold - it WAS urgent!  He occasionally has very unfortunate accidents because his bowel can only give him a few brief moments of warning before he needs to get to the toilet.

Now we are struggling with wiping the bum.  He was doing fairly well for a little while after I pronounced that I was Done wiping his bum this summer.  His bum is now (supposed to be) his responsibility.  Sometimes he is successful.  Lately, he actually seems to be using the butt wipe problem to raise my irritation level.  He will get to the bathroom on time but then sit there for a long time - until wiping is um. . .  more difficult than it needs to be. This might be a good sign.  He may be processing a cause and effect and be experimenting with the outcomes of different actions.  He may be consciously resisting one more inevitable step toward independence.  He may be seeking to prolong his dependence on me for the sake of attachment.

He may just be trying to make me furious.

My sister-in-law suggests a funky green frog shaped container of wet wipes. 

It's on the shopping list.

Speaking of potty talk - I started reading Gaiman's American Gods a few days ago. 

He's playing with some very interesting concepts in the book but . . .  I'm finding that I frequently need to skip several pages at a time.  I'm not sure I will be able to justify finishing the book. Call me a prude, but I don't read R and X rated stuff.  It frustrates me that so much of that seems to be here.  I love Gaiman's writing.  His imagination is brilliant and his voice and characterization are rich and satisfying.  There are some aspects of  imagination that I think should be kept private.  I don't like to read about explicit sex or violence.  It's getting harder and harder to find fiction that avoids graphic descriptions, especially in fantasy. 

Sigh.  I've included links throughout this post for some other Gaiman books that I've read that I feel confident about keeping in my house.  (Someday Maxx will be interested in reading the sort of stuff Gaiman writes - he doesn't need to have that sort of graphic stuff inserted into his imagination, either.)

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