Luna's Baublebilities

I can feel it.  Spring is coming.  I am crawling out my trench. 

Slowly.

I was sick again last week - but just for one day and it was such a blissfully complete sickness that I didn't even try to function which is preferable to being marginally sick and incompetent for days on end and trying not to be completely useless.  Maxx missed school because I couldn't even get him ready for the bus.  He watched movies all day and drank juice boxes & ate crackers.  I lay on the couch and slept once I dragged myself out of bed to fix the fire.  It was horrible.  And then it was done.

Saturday several men from Church came to help Bry with wallboard in the bathroom because there was some drama with the Housing Council - which is a post for another day at the Beorningstead.  I'll link there when I get it written.  It has been so wonderful to get so much help with the place.  It is so sweet to flick on a light and remember that Karl, Josh, Heather & Joan helped us with wiring last winter or to turn on the water and remember that Ken, Tom & Irene helped us get the well working again in the dead of winter.  Turn on the fireplace and feel the warmth that Meemo wants us to have and enjoy the skeleton of the hearth  nestled between the beams that Brothers Barker & Nason helped Bry & Ken build.   Not to mention hours of help from Jonathan, Cam, Dale, Greg and just about every priesthood holder in our branch and several from the larger district.  Everywhere I look in our house, I can see and touch manifestations of the love & service of others. 

That helps immensely with the long, hard crawl out of the trench.

Another thing that helps is to have projects with deadlines.  I've got a couple of wholesale orders that need to go out soon.  Good stuff.  And I'm helping sew two costumes for Molly's school production of Zombie Prom.  It is set in the 1950's and they need a couple of prom dresses.  These are Vintage Vogue - this top one is Molly's and the bottom one is for the lead girl.  I was intimidated at first, but the muslin for Molly's bodice came together pretty easily and Vogue's instructuions are pretty thorough and the patterns are well made - I think it's gonna be O.K.  If not - it just has to look good from the back row, right?

And my Sister in Law tagged me for a Stylish Blogger award.  I'll cover the details on that later this week - right now I need to go get my little (now blonde) actress and get ready to deliver her to a YW sleepover.














. . . .

I may get my studio back soon.  It is so much warmer.  20 below tonight with the windchill but up to the 40's by the end of the week.  That's according to Todd Moe - he's got good info.

Yes.  I know it is still February.  But we're half way through and just about done with the bitter cold.

Soon we'll start seeing little red nubs of birch trees and tiny green shoots in the lawn. 

I'm slowly coming out of my rut.  Turning off the computer helps.  A lot.

So did getting out of the house Saturday.  We spent 3 hours with Maxx at the Doctors to find out that he's allergic.  To everything.

Except dogs.

Then we saw the ice castle (I forgot the camera - darnit) and ate junk food and listened to The Promise on the longer than usual car ride through the blizzard.  (Vintage Bruce helped more than I expected, too.) 

It was a good day.








Here's a green collection.

I am color starved.

Must clean off that dye table.

Doodles - I know, I know.  Soon.

Let's face it.  I'm depressed.  It's January.  It has been freakin' cold and a lot of the supplies I had stored in my South Studio (enamel paints for filigree, acrylics, specialized glues for jewelry and textiiles)  froze and are ruined because we had to seal off that section of the house in order to make headway in the battle against Winter.

My North Side Studio looks like this.

It is the only warm spot in the house some days and this is where everyone wants to huddle.  My dye table is covered with other people's junk and stuff from other projects that I would rather do in the South Side studio but can't.  Because it is cold.






See the plastic?  Some days it billows out like there is some enormous, liquid animal trying to push it's way through into the rest of the house. 










The kids have been hacking and snotting and puking for over a week.  I've had a low level of ongoing physical malaise for most of the month.  I've been mentally incompetent and my work ethic is just gone.  Completely.

 The other day I took some time to thumb through some old journals because I wanted to revisit some favorite doodles.  And because I was too lazy to get up and do any actual work.  I discovered a few things;

First,  I was a much more interesting person before I became Maxx's Mommy.  I think that I might become more interesting again in the future - I remember feeling pretty burdened and lame when MB was small, too.  (So - if you have a friend who used to be lots of fun, deeply intellectual, insightful, creative and generally good to talk to and she now has kids and is a total bore - be nice to her, O.K?  It sort of sucks sometimes to have that part of yourself forced to the back burner or into total hibernation so that you can manage your kids and house and etc...)


Second, I found a great doodle I made during a talk by Pres. Monson during the April 2006 general conference.  Isn't he adorable?  Don't you feel bad for him?

Third, I found a good prose poem that applies pretty well to my state of mind this month.  I scribbled it sometime between 8/2000 and 5/2001 - certainly it is a winter poem and was written before we had to put our old Springer, Roxanne, down.  I miss her.

I know that what I need is to get the house clean, get some exercise and banish everything but fabric and dye from my North Studio & give myself permission to drag some beads and findings from the frozen tundra to the livingroom.  Emmeth encourages this.  He would like to help build a necklace.  Or take one apart. 



Anyway - here's the poem.  Careful.  It's ugly.








Welcome to my BioRythmic Trench

a trench = a ditch; a place to channel unpleasant/unwanted stuff from one place to its disposal; a place for smelly men with guns to lie in while they reload and to crouch in while they fire at the enemy; a long hole in the dirt; a place where people piss;

an entrenchment = a thing that soldiers dig and build to keep people out - to keep the enemy on the other side.

Who's the enemy??? 
Surely it is this old dog.

Blind, deaf, lazy, fat, stubborn, inconvenient.

I could just kick her.
But I don't
I know how she feels.

January is proving to be a challenge this year. 

The news from Tuscon makes my heart sick.

You can read about house progress (or lack-thereof) over at the Beorningstead but my difficulties go a bit deeper than just the construction project.

Molly is struggling with some very unexpected back to school problems.  It's not really anything I want to get into publicly but it has thrown into high relief my fears and frustrations with the drama and social stupidity of public school - even though this particular drama isn't restricted to school nor is school the root cause, it has  proven to be a very effective catalyst.  Add this to my growing frustration with her academic work and I am very, very tempted to bring her back to Home-school.  Her Global Studies book covers all of world history up to the modern era in fewer pages than the supplementary text we used for the Renaissance in the second half of 7th grade, is written at a lower level than anything we used after 6th grade (when we weaned ourselves of from public school texts) and is full of HUGE pictures and many bullet points.  Honors English is reading A Tale of Two Cities right now, which is review for Molly and they aren't covering half of the information that we covered in home school.  Her teacher didn't know what Cruncher is complaining about when he accuses his wife of "floppin'" against him until Molly explained it in class.  (HONORS ENGLISH!!  Sigh.)  I'm appalled at how sub-standard her education is turning out to be in High School. 

She's still in public school this week because:  (1)  her voice teacher is Awesome and is really stretching Molly's vocal skills.  I can't do that at home.  (2)  She is making friends, slowly, with kids she hasn't been going to Church with all her life.   And (3)  she's got a great Math teacher this year and is actually doing fairly well with math. 

I'm also overwhelmed with paperwork - for the house, for the taxes, for my business.  I've spent the last two weeks trying to convince myself to go into the freezing cold closet which used to be a shower, dig out all of the paperwork and start putting all of the pieces together.  I really don't want to.  But I will have to start Monday.  I also have to pull my business into some semblance of order online - actually building a site (or at least a landing and launching pad) on GoblinsMarket.org, sorting out my supplies from my finished work, revamping my shops, etc...

But there are some bright spots.  For the next couple of weeks I'm taking a class on Tarot symbolism from my friend, Rich Tenace, and I'm really enjoying the class.  Don't worry, LDS friends, Rich and I are not going all Occult and Satanic on you.  The main goal of the class is to explore symbols and learn how meditating on symbols can clue us into things that we already know in within our intuitive selves or sub-conscious mind.  It has been useful for me as I try to navigate (and help Molly navigate) the difficult social rapids we have encountered this week as some of the symbols have helped me remember and call upon skills and insights I learned during and as a result of my own difficult teen years.

I'm trying to spend more time and energy creating and doodling as I contemplate where I want my creative path to lead me and how I want that path to merge (or not merge) with my business.  I am starting a Doodle of the Week feature - On weeks that I'm not completely overwhelmed, I will be posting a weekly doodle on Fridays (?)   Here's the first one. 

The days get longer.  This is a good thing.














. . . .

Earlier this week there was a rather serious security breach at Etsy related to a programming goof on some new tool.  (Sellers' full legal names instead of shop names were listed in Treasuries for about 45 minutes)  Etsy Bitch and the Forums exploded in panic begging Etsy to get sellers' private information hidden and, later, in rage and frustration at Etsy's perceived slow response and initially dismissive attitude about dealing with the problem. 

Etsy has offered apologies and claims to be beefing up security but they aren't saying anything about implementing better methods and procedures for rolling out changes to code.   This particular "glitch" would have been averted if Etsy had bothered to roll out the change internally for some testing before sending it out live to the world.   This is one of the major problem over at Etsy lately.  They have been rolling out new features and tweaks to old features for months and many many bugs keep popping up.  They have 60 engineers.  Dop you think they might take some time every week to review their work together, maybe help each other proof read a bit?  Have one or two other employees who know the site sit down to test the changes before making them live?  Apparently not.

That's a problem.  But the even bigger problem is their response to one (previously) very successful seller who posted her concerns about the breach in the forums somewhat stridently.  Today, her main shop has been shut down plus her other account and her husband's shop have been forum muted.  Admin have refused to help her or answer any of her questions.  They just kept closing down threads that she and friends started in forums asking Admin to please contact her.  Their responses are all run along the same line of  'we can't talk about private accounts here in the forums.  Why don't you contact live help, etc . . . this thread is closed.'
It sounds a lot like "We're going to take you to a secure location.  Where you'll be safe." 

Yes.  Their response makes me feel very reassured.  About this woman's ability to continue to conduct her business.  About the security of My own information which Etsy still has, even though my shop is on vacation and I don't intend to re-open it.  About Etsy's concern for seller well being.

It makes my blood boil.

Which is not hard today, what with me being estrogen poisoned again.  I'm exhausted.  My productivity in the house and studio is at an all time low.  The studio problem is probably best explained by the illustrations here and above.  It's just not there yet.  I keep hoping that the storage issue will resolve when we get the workbench turned back into a dyeing table and I have that under counter  and shelving storage available.  There's a plan to take out the closed grey door (which you can't see - in either photo, it would be just to the left.) and install 'pass through' type shelves there in the door frame.  That should help.

Maxx has been a handful.  He was sick all last week with a cold (Tuesday through Friday) watched too much TV and has been sullen and surly just about every waking minute for the last week or so.  He generously shared his virus with Bryan and I so that we could be stiff, headachey and miserable for a few days.  Now that he's well enough to go back , he is being particularly troublesome about getting ready for school.  He would rather play in his new tree house. 

(Can I blame him?  Not really.) 

His little surly act is getting very old very fast.  He has also been having a LOT of potty accidents.  Right now I'm chalking it up to an hour ride each direction every day to school and back and trying to re-adjust after summer vacation.  If it persists for more than another week or two, we may have to go see the doctor about it.  Doing laundry is a problem - we still have no washer over here so pissy laundry on a daily basis is really wearing me out.

I was supposed to take THIS in today to get it fixed before it produces more just like it.  We used to have 3 cat carriers.  Could we find any?    Go ahead - guess. 

No carrier.  No fix.  Maybe next week.

I have a new calling which suddenly has several responsibilities landing in my lap.  I can delegate but even that takes some energy and planning - you know, I'd have to actually think about it.

We ran out of construction money and need to send the bank a packet of receipts and a progress report/estimate for finishing up stuff.  That requires thought, too.

Oh and to top it all off - I need a trip to the dentist.  I haven't been in a veeerrrry long time.  We do not have family dental.  I am askeered.

And - yes.  that cat DOES have that much attitude.  She's very sweet about it but really.  She is the queen.  Or goddess.  Or something else infinitely better than me.

A blog post is NOT what I intended to work on tonight.  But. .  .

Maxx has been having some serious adjustment issues with back-to-school and had a violent meltdown tonight after dinner, including punching me several times and saying "I wish I didn't even HAVE a Mommy!"  This as a result of being instructed to NOT allow the dog to drink from his cup of milk.  Maxx and I did a hold down on the kitchen floor while waiting for Daddy, who dispensed an appropriate spanking and talking to and sent the boy to bed before leaving for meetings tonight.  Boy hasn't slept and keeps coming downstairs.  I am frustrated, discouraged and angry and can't work at any projects upstairs right now.

I've been having a hard time finding my feet after vacation.

I'm no longer a home schooling mom.  That's O.K.  Molly is having a great time in HS and is enjoying the musical immensely.  She's even starting to catch on in Algebra. Wisely, they put her in the slow class and she is doing just about as well as the kids who have been there from the beginning of the year.

I'm trying to lose weight the old fashioned way.  You know - eat less and exercize more.  So far so good but with tonight's stress I really want some chocolate and I've already broken into the popcorn.

I'm struggling with my calling.  Primary Secretary is very administrative which means that I don't have a lot of prep time for Sundays since I'm not teaching but it also means that I'm not growing spiritually because I'm not teaching.  I'm also not doing a very good job in it.  I had to miss a meeting tonight because I needed to get Maxx in bed.  It is simply impossible to have both Bry and I out of the house on a school night and since Bry is the BP - his responsibilities at church come before mine do right now.  I also feel that Maxx clings to me and acts out more in Primary than he would if I weren't stationed there every week.  I'd like him to be more independent on Sundays and I feel like my being available in the room impedes his development there.

I'm trying to determine what to do with my business.  Bry is already playing the "There probably won't be a job for you next year" game with BOCES.  Patterson's budget cuts to education on top of the general economic downturn keep Bryan's position at risk, even though he has been at BOCES for 10 years.  Don't ask - its a bunch of administrative stupidity.  When we began planning for the Beorningstead, I felt sure that I could start producing and selling enough scarves and finished jewelry to pay off some of the extra debt we would have to incur at first to make the transition work.  I still think that is true and that once I do find my feet and get a working routine going, the money will start rolling in the way I need it to.   But I'm pretty sure that I can't make enough to support the household.

Who knows, maybe I could.  But at this rate I just don't see how.

The Goblins' Market supply business contributes a steady cash flow which comes in really handy but the amount of income it provides compared to the amount of time I have to spend is really not worth the hassle.  I need to narrow my inventory and the scope of my supply shops.  I need to do this without taking a loss in my current inventory or slowing down the cash flow.  I need to find the balance between this side of my business and the finished works side - which is where the real profit and enjoyment is.



Where do I narrow things down?  What do I cut out from supplies, what do I increase?

Ribbons and hand dyed cord are very fulfilling to sell.  I spend a lot of time and have lots of fun devising new colorways and the ribbons bring a good price.  They also represent a large layout for raw materials in order to have more than a few lengths of each colorway.  Having regularly available color choices means either doing HUGE lots of each colorway at once or dyeing the same colorways again and again throughout the year.


The enameled brass dragonflies, bead caps and birds?  Love them.  And so does everyone else.  I've managed to restrict enameling to one day a week when Molly and I work together which means that customers wait several days to get their orders shipped out but it keeps that task manageable and trackable for me.  I'm thinking of expanding to include a few more colored metal pieces like butterflies and other repousee findings. 

Beads?  Oh here's a dilemma.  I LOVE having tons of beads to play with and lots of variety.  But since most of the beads I stock are so inexpensive, I'm really not making much of a profit.  Between listing fees and inventory management time, I think that one would have to be selling in huge quantities to make any money with selling beads.  I think I will dig back through my sales records and choose out the best sellers and keep those on hand.  Then I will concentrate on finding a few really special beads for designing with each season and offer a few sets of specials in my supply shops.  I recently discovered some new wholesalers who have slightly higher prices (1-2 cents per bead) but lower minimums and better variety so I don't have to tie up all of my bead money in a few massive strands that I'll get bored with and that may or may not sell.

I love having filigree bead caps and components around for designing with.  Thse will stay, but I will probably start to lean more towards larger and more specialty pieces.  Smaller findings will go.  I realize now that I do not intend to be a "full service bead shop."  There are plenty of those out there.  I want my supply shops to be known for the really luscious stuff - the addictive stuff you can only get from the Goblin Men down in the glenn.

For finished works . . .

I really want to play more with the beads I've got.  I love sparkley stuff.  I need to market it better, though, because jewelry is such a flooded market online.

Scarves.  If I dye, they will buy.  Again, more marketing will help move inventory quicker but I have no fears about losing money on any style of scarve that I produce.  Except maybe the gorgeous hand dyed velvet wraps with the incredible beaded fringe, but that kind of labor is never wasted.

Tee shirts?  I've got some half dyed and waiting for me to finish a silk screen design.  If they don't move well, lots of family members will get pretty tee shirts with peacocks on them for Christmas next year.

But before I can be successful with these finished beauties, I have to actually make some more stuff and get photos of them and list them in my shops.  All of that takes time.


And I haven't even discussed the state of the household.  My studio is a Groggoch's den right now and the bathroom isn't far behind.



I think the boy is asleep now.  Perhaps I can sneak into the studio now?  Or at least upstairs to put my laundry away?








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