If Only I had Made it in Pink

10:30 AM Posted In , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
Since I'm obviously feeling confessional this week, having posted a photo of my epic cake FAIL of last week over at the Beorningstead blog , I thought I would let you all take a look at my latest bead fail.

Pretty weird, right?

The latest Beadwork magazine has a short tutorial on making sparkly beaded rings so I played around with the project a bit yesterday. 

I made a sort of fun little orange spiky flower ring.

And I beaded a setting for a scintillating rivoli and then decided to see if the duck bills I bought with the latest mega box of beads would work with this  design.


I was shooting for something floral but it certainly didn't turn out that way.  I think it looks like some bizarre sea creature gone horribly wrong.  Molly says it looks like a butt.  (If you have a large, short haired dog, you will instantly see what she means.  It is rather sphincter-ish.)

If only I had made it in pink.

Speaking of butts.  I'm so disgusted with Etsy.   They had full frontal female nudity on their front page a couple of weeks ago.  Oh - the artist's photographer had airbrushed out some specific anatomical details on top and the models hands were covering her groin area but it was still nudity on the Front Page.  The item in question was a hoop skirt support made to be worn under period costumes or alone as a "futuristic design statement".  The seller makes latex clothing.  Most of the images for the clothing available in this shop border on or qualify as soft p*rn.

You know what?  That's FINE.  If someone is having fun making a living selling titillating little costumes - go ahead.  I have no problem with that.  I don't even have a problem with them using racy images in their shop to sell their wares.  It's their shop.  I do not believe in trying to censor other artists and I think that there should be a place on Etsy and other venues for all kinds of  art - whether that art contain happy unicorn, Christian iconography or images designed for a mature audience.

I DO have a HUGE problem with Etsy putting those soft p*rn images on their Front Page and I'll tell you why.   

For those of you who don't know much about FAS/FAE, one of the major challenges kids with this disorder have is a more than average level of difficulty making good sexual choices.  These kids are at a higher risk for STD's, teen pregnancy, date rape - etc. because they have an overwhelming curiosity about sex and intimacy, very little to no impulse control and very poor decision making skills.   I thought that we would be dealing with this issue in - oh about 10 years or so, during puberty.  But no.  It is here NOW. 

Maxx is hyper-interested in breasts and other lady parts.  He has already been exposed to p*rn on the school bus.  He asks inappropriate questions quite frequently and tries to engage in inappropriate touching with me and Molly.  We have had incidents of inappropriate tickling with other female family members that we have had to address with him.  We try to dress him in jeans because if he wears softer pants he runs around all day grabbing his goods.  We have had numerous discussions about biology and male vs. female anatomy, respecting people's privacy and what sort of touching is appropriate and what is not.  He levels off sometimes for weeks at a time until something sets him off - like seeing magazine covers in the grocery store or a scene in a film or on TV that shows a lot of skin and/or cuddling. 

Now some of you might say - "Oh, he's just a boy - boys are just interested in girls!"  Yes.  Boys are interested in girls.  As they should be.  Maxx is Obsessed with female bodies.  There is a difference.  His behavior and manner change when he is obsessing.  It is very troubling.  We work hard to keep questionable images out of our home in order to make at least this space safe for him.  He has enough issues to work through that he shouldn't have to be grappling with that particular obsession right now.

I left work at Creative Spirit because the owner was preparing for a new exhibit containing several "adult" images.  I was fine with that until he made it clear that he intended to hang one of the largest paintings front and center at the bottom of the stairs leading to the only bathroom in the building.  His intention in hanging the piece there was not to draw attention to a particularly masterful painting but in his own words, it was to "shake up the moral foundations of this community a little bit." 

Never mind that we had several parents visit the store with their children and if a potty stop was needed, these kids would have to be brought down through the gallery - right past the 'mature' content.  With no warning whatsoever.  I don't know if this guy ever actually hung that show that way or not.  I left and didn't look back. 

Etsy's front page is on our drop down navigation bar menu for Firefox because I stop into Etsy every day to manage my shops there.  I can no longer trust that opening Etsy with Maxx sitting on my lap or hanging out around the computer is safe.  I'm strongly considering shutting down both of my Etsy shops.  My supply shop has tanked over there.  Either something is STILL broken in the search or I've made some sort of blacklist as a result of speaking too bluntly in the forums about the numerous problems sellers have been having since March.   Either way, that source of income is drying up has dried up.  Pair that with not being able to trust Etsy to follow their TOU/ Dos and Don'ts and NOT put nudity on the front page makes me think that never clicking on that Etsy link again might be a good idea. 

Sigh.  Thinking about Etsy lately makes me depressed.  Thinking about FAS makes me feel overwhelmed.  I've had to think about both of them in one morning - I guess Ziggy and I should go walk off that Nutella on a rice cake I just ate and then try to figure out what on earth to do with these stupid duck bill beads.  Any ideas out there?



Kim said...

First of all, perhaps it is my neverending love for all things weird,... I like the sea creature butt piece,... for lack of a better name! How big is it?

Second of all, I saw the photo in question on my daily foray through Etsy. I have no problem with it, but I agree that the front page is NOT the proper place for it AT ALL. Your artifre shop,... have you essentially combined both of your Etsy shops into the one? Until you, I had never even heard of Artfire!!

Thirdly, I didn't know that the sexual issues were a part of FAS. That has got to be a difficult thing to handle. Finding that line between normal inquisitiveness and the unhealthy obsession can't be easy, nor can be the handling of it in such a way to not shame him for feelings out of his control. Poor Maxx, and poor you!

Anonymous said...

Have you spoken to any kind of child psychologist?

Virginia said...

Maxx has a good team at school and we're seeking a new pediatrician for him. His wonderful Pediatrician who was helping us cope with many of Maxx's special needs moved away this winter and while our PA at the clinic is excellent with medical needs, she isn't an expert on FAS/FAE. Maxx will probably eventually benefit from counseling in some form, either privately or through the school district as part of his education plan.

This particular behavior is to be expected with FAS/FAE and a counselor would tell us to do exactly what we are already doing - be open and honest about boy/girl biological differences, protect him from inappropriate media, teach, re-teach and remind him about social boundaries and appropriate/inappropriate touching. Over and over again. I don't want to run to a psychologist over this issue alone because I don't want to single out the sexual behaviors and create an aura of mystery, shame or drama around them. His EIP plan for 1st grade includes some time each day to work on academic and social skills so we'll keep monitoring the situation and ask the school to support our teaching with this issue. He seems to do just fine as long as he isn't exposed to something that sets this particular obsession off and he seems to be grasping the concept of what is appropriate and what isn't, which is excellent! It isn't any guarantee that he will always make appropriate choices but it is a positive step in the right direction.

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